Found Cash: What Would You Do?

Last week, some highway workers in Indiana found over $130,000 stashed in a tire on the side of the road. When they realized that they encountered cash and not trash, they contacted the Indiana State Police. The authorities stated that they would attempt to find the rightful owner of the money, which may become property of the US government if unclaimed. The workers who discovered the money apparently don't get a piece of their find, and were simply praised for their "honesty and integrity."

This story led me to wonder what I would do if I stumbled on a large sum of money. My immediate thoughts were of greed: if no one was around, and it looked like it was sitting there for some time, why not? Who would know? But as I continued to think about it, the more the moral side of my conscience spoke to me. Turning the money into the authorities, just as those highway workers did, is the only right thing to do. I'm a believer in Karma, so claiming something that isn't mine would only curse me twofold. I suspect that I would be tormented by the guilt and paranoia that would come with stealing such a discovery, and I know that I would not be able to tolerate it.

The Roman poet Ovid once said, "Men do not value a good deed unless it brings a reward." Well in a situation like this one, peace of mind would be enough reward.

Starting Your Own Happiness Project

I became a follower of Author Gretchen Rubin's blog after coming across a written piece online entitled "10 Ways To Be Happier." Here are the suggestions she makes on ways you can simply improve your happiness quotient. To see the article online check it out here, and visit her blog site, too, for some uplifting reading and all-around good advice.

1. Don’t start with profundities.

When I began my Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness.

2. Do let the sun go down on anger.

I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.

3. Fake it till you feel it.

Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.

4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.

Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things — learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places — are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to “Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.

5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.”

Often the things I choose as “treats” aren’t good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While it’s easy to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.

6. Buy some happiness.

Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do and having a sense of control. Money doesn’t automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. I’ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences. For example, when my sister got married, I splurged on a better digital camera. It was expensive, but it gave me a lot of happiness bang for the buck.

7. Don’t insist on the best.

There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

8. Exercise to boost energy.

I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, “I’m just too tired to go to the gym”? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook.

9. Stop nagging.

I knew my nagging wasn’t working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong. If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadn’t realized how shrewish and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying “Milk!” instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments?

10. Take action.

Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: You’re born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that’s that. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work. So use these tips to start your own Happiness Project. I promise it won’t take you a whole year.

Thanks...But No Thanks

Yesterday I received the following message on Facebook:

"I know that this is a pretty random email, but here it goes. I used to work at [former workplace omitted] with you and had somewhat of a "crush" on you. The problem was that I was too shy to even intoduce myself. I was a manager in Customer Care at the time and was mostly all business at work.

I'm curious to see if you remember who I am or not? I know that we passed in the hallways more then a few times.

So anyway, I was surfing around on FB and came upon your page. I figured I'd let you know and if at this point you do not think I'm crazy or wierd maybe we could meet up sometime?"

I haven't responded to this message, and doubt that I will. A few things crossed my mind while reading this. First off, what does "somewhat of a "crush"" mean? How many guys have I missed opportunities with because they were too shy? What number of people scope out social networking sites like Facebook to search for (or stalk!) crushes? Will Facebook ever institute a spell check tool in its messaging system?

As nice as this guy may seem, I wonder what compelled him to connect with me. It's been 3 years since I left that last job, so I find it hard to believe that any interest could endure or be reignited after such a long period of time. Also, I am apprehensive about being asked out via a social networking site or even online for that matter. It's not my style and quite honestly, a turn-off. Had this guy made an attempt to talk to me in person or pursue me at the old job, I may have considered it at the time.

Fortunately, my luck with guys has been quite nice lately, so I feel I can afford to be selective. I'm not the type to pounce on every male that shows the slightest hint of attraction towards me (of course the handsome and/or bold ones do get my attention, but I digress). Not that there's anything bad about this guy, but I'm simply not intrigued. Sadly, his chances are slim to none. Boys and girls: a word to the wise - don't squander any opportunity to go after something in the present, otherwise you might miss your chance forever.

No Signs of Slowing Down

At the end of last year, I often thought about how much I wanted to slow life down a bit for myself. My social calendar is always full, I'm always on the go, and I realized that I spend a good portion of my life outside of the comfort of my own home. It would be nice to look forward to a weekend of doing absolutely nothing.

Not surprisingly, things still haven't changed. Of course it would be absurd to think that my busy life could so quickly decelerate, but naturally I am drawn to setting such an expectation. Some alone time is so welcome at this point that I consider taking vacation days from work during the week when I know everyone is at work and there isn't anything going on.

The problem isn't that there is so much to do in my life - it's really me. I rarely say no when friends or family want to do something or go somewhere. When I do say no to someone, there always seems to be a back-up opportunity that I can't refuse. So does that mean that maybe I need to cut people off or even out of my life? Do I need to simply put my foot down and say no?

The more I think about it, the answer becomes obvious: Perhaps I need to accept the fact that for now, life will continue to be a non-stop train ride and I need to just go with it. I know myself well enough to acknowledge when it is necessary for me to take a break. When the time is right, I'll know, but for the moment, it's not now.

It's Christmas Eve 2008

On the eve of Christmas, many people are looking forward to having tomorrow off, some are scurrying out at the last minute to buy gifts, others are traveling to visit their loved ones, and there are some already preparing to celebrate. Holiday cheer is certainly in the air, and it's a time of year that a lot of people look forward to.

This is the time of year when goodwill towards all men and women is most prevalent. I realize that the holiday season is a catalyst for good feelings as an emotional contagion, but we should be doing nice things for others throughout the year, not just in the 4th quarter. Based on my observations over the years, people seem to give more or volunteer in their communities during the holidays. But the truth of the matter is, there are children and families in our communities that need assistance every month of the year. In fact, regardless of whether you are less fortunate or well off, everyone deserves some kindness in their lives.

In a recent conversation with friends, we shared our thoughts about the state of the world. We all agreed that despite the economic turmoil, natural disasters, and underlying turbulence we've experienced in the past several years, there is a sense of rebirth and change in the air. We, as humans, are uniting under strife, but also under hope that the world as we have known it to be is now under transformation into something positive.

My wish - not just for Christmas, but for any time of year - is that this paradigm shift in humanity becomes fact, and that we will watch a better world start to manifest soon. Kindness, whether you give or receive it, always leads to happiness. I would like to encourage everyone to extend simple acts of kindness to others, big or small; to strangers, to friends and family. Then perhaps we can watch that happiness spread like wildfire.

I Like Weddings

Whether they are extravagant events or small gatherings, I enjoy going to weddings. When attending such a celebration, you become a spectator to the pageantry, ritual, and drama of it all. It's all quite entertaining, if you ask me.

Today I attended the nuptials of a young couple, both the bride and groom in their late teens. It was a lovely ceremony and a very modest reception. Obviously this was a wedding on a budget, as there was no food served, no alcohol available (sacrilege!), nor was there a DJ to get the party started. It was unlike any wedding I have been to before, but the novelty of young love did give some meaning to the occasion. The wedding may have been simple but it was straight to the point, intended to allow the newlyweds to genuinely share with friends and family the celebration of their love and union.

Truly, sometimes less is more.

A Day In The Life

Gonna try a little something different today.

Inspired by Flickr photo group "a day in the life of...", I'll be posting a few photos over the course of my waking hours today, illustrating a day in the life of me. Here it goes:

6:03am - My view of the snow-covered hills right before entering US-95 on my commute to work.

8:33am - Day at the office begins at 7am. My colleague and friend Kristin is in the background. We work hard, as you can see.
11:55am - Walk across the street to the local bar for lunch with Kri and our friend, LindaLou. We all had the burger special.

1:20pm - Take a quick break from work to check out the increasing snow shower outside the office!

2:32pm - Watch the call center employees downstairs engage in snow fights.

4:31pm - Start the commute home. The roads were precarious today, with several inches of snow and more snowfall expected. Lengthy commute is not out of the ordinary - but the frozen precipitation most certainly is!

6:03pm - Arrive home! Whew!

7:49pm - Finish up this blog, watch some TV, wind down for the night. Set the alarm for 4:20am, and start over again...minus the snow, hopefully.

Some Good Advice

Don't you just love e-mail? You know the kind with the funny, sweet, or inspirational message that urges you to forward to friends and family, or else you're doomed? Well, usually I don't. However, today I received one that had some simple, good recommendations for some peace of mind:

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

Worthy suggestions for life, right? These lines made me think back to when I was growing up, and the advice my family gave me. My parents urged us to be tough yet kind, and be strong in mind. My grandpa used to tell all of us granddaughters, "If someone wants to fight you, fight them back." He totally contradicted other adults who always told us to play nice, and we loved how he taught us against the grain of what we were learning. Grandpa knew how to keep it real. That seemed to be the most effective way of ensuring that we listened.

Advice doesn't really change as we get older. Most of the lessons we receive are similar to what we've heard before, just different words. What changes is how we value those lessons and how we apply the advice to what we do based on who we have become. Another thing that changes, too, as we grow is that we don't keep advice to ourselves for our own benefit - we often pass it on.

Lord, Please Send Me a Housekeeper

My home is in shambles. I have not had a day to myself where I could just pick up and clean. Every weekend for the past several months has occupied my time with work, social events, or travel. Yesterday would have been the perfect opportunity to do some cleaning, but several things kept me from doing so, namely a hangover.

When did I become this messy person? Because of my militaristic upbringing, I remember my living space being absolutely immaculate. There was no natural transition away from this growing up. I like the sense of organization and cleanliness. Oh, but today, I'm looking around and it's a disaster area. I would not even allow my mother to see the state of my home at this time.

Perhaps making this known to people will motivate me to actually do something about it...and maybe that means it is time to hire a maid service.

Slim Chance I'm Divorce Material

Perusing through Freakonomics today, I came across a blogpost entitled "Assessing Your Divorce Risk." Sweet. I enjoy doing assessments like this. However, as a person who has never been married, I evaluated my divorce risk with the next best thing I could think of: my "work spouse." My colleague Kristin and I have been sharing an office for a few months now, and prior to that either sat near eachother or worked closely together on major projects. She's the one I commiserate with when major projects take a nose dive, the one I complain to when our employees are acting up, and she's one of the first people I seek out when major organizational news comes up. Kri and I are "married" through our work. At first, when I told her about this assessment and grumbled that I couldn't do the assessment after all because I wasn't married, she jokingly suggested, "Assess our risk!" Knowing this could only result in fun, I proceeded.

Oddly, the relationship factors weren't really taken into account in this survey, so I dismissed my work spouse (Sorry, Kri). As it turns out, as a college-educated female sans children, "wed" after 1980 in my late 20's for 2 years, my risk of being a divorcee is generally low. According to the data, individuals whose backgrounds are similar to mine who have already divorced made up 1% of the sample population. Individuals whose backgrounds are similar to mine who will likely be divorced over the next five years were 10% of the polled.

Naturally, like most other evaluations of this type, I have doubt in the results. Although, I do think it is funny that marriage, divorce, and matchmaking have become such a science in our day and age. Personally, I see divorce as a risk reliant on the attitudes of the individuals involved. Obviously, it's so much more than just that, but fundamentally I see marriage itself as a risk like any other we take in life, and it's up to the individuals involved to go in on it with open minds or act negatively in it.

I hope I don't jinx any of my future marriage(s) by making these statements, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

California Transplant

Traveling back and forth between Nevada and California over the past few months I have developed a strong sense of escape that I haven't experienced since my younger years.

I forcibly came to Nevada a few months shy of my 16th birthday, right after I finished my sophomore year of high school at Milpitas High. Upset that I would have to relocate to a new state in the middle of my high school career, I pleaded with my parents that I be allowed to return to MHS to complete my Senior year and be able to graduate with the friends I grew up with. They agreed under the pretense that I maintain my high GPA in my junior year and that I behave while in Las Vegas. When the time came for me to make the move back to California, I was crushed to find out that my parents would not allow me to do so.

My first year in Las Vegas was a blur. My new curriculum was no different from my last school as I was placed in honors and AP classes. I quickly made new friends, and even tried out for the volleyball team in hopes of simulating my school experience back at MHS. Sadly, there was nothing that could match what I considered home, and I became all-consumed with being homesick. My motivation dropped dramatically in my junior year, and by the time I was a senior at Cimarron-Memorial, I was a whole different student and a totally different kid. In retrospect, I'm pretty sure that something inside me felt that if I acted out enough to get my parents' attention, they would send me back to California. Well, they remained unfazed, and firmly stood their ground against my request.

Sixteen years later, I'm still here in Las Vegas. On the upside, I have met some great people here, and know that with some of them I have made lifelong friendships. I've established a life of sorts also: finished school, started a career, bought a home, and have gotten very close to planting my roots deep into this city. I nearly married a man with deep-seated Vegas loyalty, who wanted us to build a life and raise our children in this town. Thank goodness I escaped that trap, because at this point I'm feeling the urge to uproot myself again. The great thing is that this next time, it will be on my own terms. California will forever be my home, and it will always beckon for my return. However, whether I decide to retreat there or elsewhere, I know that Nevada is not the place for me. Sure, I have had fun here and still continue to do so, but there is a time in everyone's life when change is needed. For me, that time is fast approaching.

Time For Breaks

I'm finding that the theme of my life this week is "broken things." Please, have no pity on me - it's not serious. I am resilient, and will get over all of it. When it comes down to it, I'm just impressed that there is inadvertent consistency in my life, all unpredictable and not necessarily in my best interest. We all need challenges in our lives, right?

Promise break. One of my gal pals calls me this evening to confirm plans we have for this weekend. She just happens to be the friend who I'd be rooming with for our Cancun vacation extravaganza this November. During our conversation, I casually reminded her to book her flight (she is a regular procrastinator, so I know to take action like this often). Her response: "Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that." This is followed by a long explanation of personal finances, feelings of economic insecurity, and essentially her saying that she's reconsidering. All this, after weeks of urging me to proceed with paying the deposit for the room and reassuring me that she absolutely will not back out. I am astounded by the fact that she would break a promise as significant as this - she's not a 'flaker' by nature - and remind her that I paid a non-refundable deposit that I refuse to lose. Her and I have yet to discuss this further, but best case scenario: I get a room all to myself in Mexico. I've come to the conclusion that she will pay her share of the room whether she decides to go or not. I'm wondering if that's harsh, but then again, I gave up rooming with two of my guy friends, with whom I would totally get naked, in order to room with her. Sometimes there is just no justice in this world!

Car Break. Blah. The first car I ever purchased and owned is a 2000 Mitsubishi Eclipse. It has been 9 years and I still drive the damn thing. My main gripe is that I haven't had a car payment in years, so why voluntarily get one when I have a vehicle that gets me from Point A to B? Two years ago I smashed the front of the Eclipse in a freeway accident, and I had it repaired immediately. Last October, the timing belt broke. Rather than send it to the shop, I drove my mom's mini-van for 6 months, while my little car sat in my parents' driveway. Since getting it fixed, it has given me persistent problems - the service engine light being the most frequent of those problems. Just this Monday, I had the battery and starter replaced. Just as I was thinking everything was fine, the service engine light pops up while I'm driving to work on Tuesday morning. It hasn't turned off since. Well, I've had enough. My aging Eclipse has already surpassed 100,000 miles, and the time has arrived to consider giving it up. It's like breaking up with a boyfriend: First come the feelings of resentment, then silent contemplation and strategy, until finally you come to the realization that ultimately things just aren't going to work. The next one better be worth the trade-off. And by that I mean the car.

Camera Break?!?!? For the 3rd time in the past year and a half, I have damaged yet another camera. The accident happened at a bar whilst inebriated (Imagine that!). The saddest part is that my recent camera, a Sony DSC-T200 with a super-fun touch screen, was my absolute favorite. Fortunately, I have complete foresight in knowing that any camera in my possession is doomed to break. I had, therefore, bought a 4-year service plan/warranty at the place of purchase. Saved! The camera is currently en route to the manufacturer, where I am hoping they can repair my beloved toy. Should the repairs exceed the value of the camera, the retailer will give me a new camera. Typically, this would be a good alternative, but because they no longer carry the exact same model I would end up having to get a new one that is not all black nor has the same fancy big touchscreen. If I don't get my old camera back, I may cry.

Beer Break! No folks, I'm not saying it's time to stop what you're doing and chug a cold brewsky. Time for Yours Truly to lay off her favorite beverage. Throughout my birthday week, I am pretty sure I consumed nearly 100 units of alcohol (don't ask what that equates to - it was A LOT), primarily beer. Never fear! Detox is a good thing, even if it's short-term. This hiatus is only temporary until I shed another 3 pounds in the next week...or at least free myself of the beer bloat that I'm feeling (Ugh). To my favorite happy hour spots and to my favorite drinks, I say this: I love you. I will be back.

Peter Pan Syndrome

Ask anyone who has known me forever: I stopped growing up when I turned 18. So turning 31 this year was like any other prior year - it was a piece of cake. Since I've reached my 30's, people often ask how I dealt with transitioning into a whole new decade. The truth of the matter is, I never had to "cope" with it in any way. In fact, as cheesy as this is going to sound, getting older always has been and will continue to be an adventure. There are those who are caught up in seeing age as a number that defines who they are, what they can or cannot do, how they should act, and where they should be in their lives. The truth of the matter is, when you start to identify your whole self with your age, you end up cutting out a huge chunk of possibilities from your life. There is no sense in limiting how you live your life. How can anyone live a fruitful life if they shut out the things they love to do or new experiences simply because they feel their age dictates whether or not they can? That's not a life lived to the fullest.

I have witnessed people hold back on doing certain things simply because they felt that they don't belong somewhere or should be "acting their age." I could not disagree with them more. You can be as young as you feel and radiate youth through your spirit and your actions. The getting old part is purely a state of mind. Come to think of it, so is the idea of staying young.

Author Douglas Coupland once wrote about aging, "We have two ages: the age we really are, and the age we are in our heads." This is a magnificent theory, and I'll be glad to cling to it as the decades pass. When I'm 100, I'm sure gonna get a kick out of telling people I'm 18.